There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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