I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
