So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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