What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
