You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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