I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
