Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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