The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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