You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This is classic penis vs brain.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
