how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
