yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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