put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize