i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
