and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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