He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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