I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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