Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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