literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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