I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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