I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
