Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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