People in love make me want to vomit
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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