Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So much Jack, so little girl.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize