She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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