Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
