it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
