u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
