it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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