You made me cry and you don't even care
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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