He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This is my gift to your gina
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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