Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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