It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize