I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Randomize
