There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
