I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
