She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize