A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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