i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize