Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
