yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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