hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
