he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
