I seem to have left my pride at pride
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
