i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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