Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Are my feet made of real feet?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
