it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
