Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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