she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This is my gift to your gina
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
