i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
