I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
