yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
