Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Fuck appropriateness.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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