I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
