Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
