Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
