He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
