Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
