I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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