I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
