i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
