If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
